at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
