Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
