apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
