worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
