i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
