So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
