I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
