she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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