Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
40s are totally the cure
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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