i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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