Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
