Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
