Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Ambien. No doubt about it.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
