Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
