So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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