I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
