you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
