You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
