First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
