I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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