I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
