Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I smell like Dick and happiness
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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