Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I want to make a zoo with you.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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