i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
