He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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