is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
