When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
