My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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