Will you blow on my dice?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
should my penis look like a turkey
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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