I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I am puke
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just forgot I was standing up.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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