i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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