Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i drank out of a bidet.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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