why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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