I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
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