we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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