We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
