How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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