I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
