You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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