If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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