As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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