Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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