my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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