It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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