OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
