I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
