When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
