Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Only a mothe r could love this liver
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
