those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
