you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
