I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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